When I was around 5 years old, I took ballet and loved it. I remember dancing around my living room un-selfconsciously after class, and even in class, I didn’t criticize myself, compare myself with any of the other students, or fear to look at myself in the mirror. When I think about how I used to be when I was a child, I wonder, “How did this change?” It is sad how different my attitude about that is now. My hope is that I can return to that state of not being self-critical, comparing, or judging harshly. Ideally, I wouldn’t want to think much about myself at all and instead to focus on joy.

I remember you —

A ballerina dancing

In your pink tutu.

Mirrors didn’t frighten you,

And your feet

Were sure underneath,

No thought of falling,

No fear or anxiety.

You even took tap,

And when the metal clapped

The shiny wood floors,

When you moved

In your shiny black shoes,

You smiled, you had fun,

You knew what

It was to love.



This poem was inspired by the Magi who followed the star to where Jesus was, and they worshiped him. They did not worship the star, but they gave glory and honor to the God who set it in the sky, who used that star to lead the Magi to Him. That made me think of all of the friends who have been “stars” in my life, leading me to hope, strength, joy, love, and God. Many of these people are no longer actively in my life, and others will be going onto other paths soon, which brings up waves of grief. Still, it is important to remember not to worship the people in your life, but worship the God who placed them in your life and who has used them to show you more of Himself. I am definitely grateful for that, even though I am also really sad.

You are bright lights in the night sky,

Thank you for showing me the way

From darkest night to brightest day,

But when the sun comes, we say goodbye.


You are not the greatest light,

You are only watchmen, bearing witness,

But oh how God has blessed me with your presence,

You have given me the needed hope to fight.


I have followed you beautiful stars,

But soon I see our paths sadly diverging;

My grieving heart cries, is silently urging:

May we stay close, although we travel far.