Make Me Better

Yesterday, I discovered the song “Make You Better” by the Decemberists. Video Here

The song made me think of the eating disorder that I have been struggling with and how, though it helped some things in my life, it hurt much more than it helped. I wanted self-confidence, approval, numbing of emotions, and a sense of security, and it delivered none of that for long. It didn’t make me better, and now I want to actually get better. I want to have a real life rather than pursuing my own destruction. That’s what inspired me to rewrite the song with new lyrics.


I want you, thin fingers,

I didn’t want thin fingernails,

Or a thin life, or brittle bones,

I wanted you, I needed you

To make me better.

 

I loved you in the new times,

I lost myself in no time,

I bent over backwards,

To follow you, because I thought you

Would make me better.

You didn’t make me better.

 

But I’m not so starry-eyed anymore,

You’re not the friend I thought you were when I met you,

And our journey up to now has made me,

But before you break me, I’ll return to what is true,

And make me better.

It’ll make me better.

 

You muted my life’s song,

I suffered under your heavy palm,

Yet when fear consumed me,

I wanted you, I needed you

To make me better.

To make me better.

 

And all I wanted was a peace in my mind,

And all I wanted was acceptance of your kind,

To make me lighter.

 

But I’m not so starry-eyed anymore….

 

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