Even This I Get to Experience

I know what it is to be hungry.
I know what it is to tell myself I am content.
I know what it is to be hungry.
I know what it is to have a desire
to be understood
gnawing on my very bones,
chomping so strongly
that it makes my skin
stick to my ribs —

I know what it is to be empty.
I know what it is to fear fullness.
I know what it is to be empty.
I know what it is to have a desire
to be understood
pulling at my brittle skin,
pushing so strongly
that it makes my heart
threaten to cease beating —

I know what it is to be skinny.
I know what it is to literally see yourself differently.
I know what it is to be skinny.
I know what it is to have a desire
to be free despite fear,
hope and despair
pushing and pulling
on my heart and very bones,
darkness threatening, gnawing —

I know what it is to live through this experience.

Written 10/18/2019. This was a hard one to type up. I’m not sure about posting this, but after all that I think I might as well. Shared with the weekly Writers’ Pantry on 10/10/2021. Shared with DVerse Poetics: “from a place of pain” on 10/12/2021.

18 thoughts on “Even This I Get to Experience

  1. I could feel your anguish and the urgency of the need. It felt like you were under attack. Your saying you lived through it is both relief and victory. Your vulnerability and sharing show courage. It is the way others can understand {{{{HUGS}}}}

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  2. The intensity of your words echo the pain of it–I’m so glad you made it through. Although I think it will always be raw, your strength shows here as well. (K)

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  3. I like the way you emphasise the word ‘live.’ I am sorry you had to live through all of this pain, but it certainly sounds as though you came through stronger.

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  4. This is a most incredible piece Jenna. Very intense, and sompowerful. I am so glad you lived through it and that you shared it with us. Stay strong. Hugs.
    Lorraine

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  5. I think when we share verses like this we can also see ourselves. We can then hope that our positive thoughts will encourage the writers to know that we can rise above such issues and life with happiness.

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