I Believe You

Shared with DVerse’s latest Open Link Night. Also for Wednesday poetry prompts. 

You say life is better

in recovery and

i believe you,

 

But i believe these

BIG

FEELINGS

and that fat

is still a

Bad

Thing

You say these thoughts

in my mind

are lying,

are planted

by a diet-obsessed

Society and I

do, I do believe you

But i believe in

calorie

counting

Step counting

calorie

burning

i’m burning in an

artificial hell

Why am I not counting

the times i’ve made

myself small,

the time I’ve spent

Trying to get

Happiness back again?

My mind is renewed.

Mental health

Counts too.

You say life is better

in recovery and

I

Believe you.

 

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My Shadow

This week’s Meeting the Bar at DVerse is about creative metaphors. Lately I’ve been struggling and have felt very confused, but I am determined to push through and not lose hope. I hope these metaphors are sufficiently creative!

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You are my shadow.

You are always with me.

Even when I think you’re gone

You’re only sleeping.

You are a cobra,

Deadly, waiting to strike.

Even when I think you’re gone

You’re only biding time.

You are a hurricane,

Leaving destruction in your wake,

I will be aware, not

Fooled by a cute name.

You are locusts in my life,

My flowers cannot grow well,

Even when I think you’re gone

You’ve not returned to hell.

 

I am the season of spring,

Its persistence is with me.

Even when I think it’s gone,

The life is only sleeping.

A baby rattlesnake

Is not the same thing as a baby

With a rattle.

And the walking dead

Are not just fodder for a popular

T.V. show.

Addiction

Is a brood of vipers,

A coral snake when you make it king,

And it creates dead out of the living.

 

We all know how

This story ends:

With an embrace

Tight as a boa constrictor,

While the unsuspecting

Prey coos,

“I love you, too.”

---

This poem was inspired by a prompt that my friend gave to me: When I had run out of poetry ideas, he suggested that I “write a poem that involves dramatic irony, zombies, and a baby rattlesnake. The words I love you must be stated.” I definitely had fun with this, even though the subject matter turned out to be serious! This poem is also for DVerse OLN #203.

Imperfect and Perfect

Today at DVerse, we are writing haibuns based on the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi, which is described as “the art of imperfection.”

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I look at a chipped teacup, a broken seashell, cracks in the concrete, even a dying flower and see beauty: poignant, ineffable, intriguing, unique. On every piece of nature are God’s fingerprints, infinite. Let me extend this knowledge to my own body, a temple of personal, imperfect and perfect beauty.

 

Springtime’s trees flower,

Jacaranda’s purple blooms

Dress the cracked sidewalk.

Ugly Art

This poem was inspired by a few different things: firstly by Jill’s poem about this quote,

“Art often isn’t [nice] though it scrubs the soul fresh”

~ Jim Harrison

And also the quote itself, as well as some collages that I made several years ago. I enjoy making collages and used to create them often. I think that the visuals very effectively express the ways in which I am feeling, and looking at the collages brings me back to the place I was when I made them.

These collages were both made a few years ago, before I got treatment for my eating disorder. Without further ado, here is the poem inspired by them.

“Ugly Art”

These works of art are not pretty:

Collages with papers ripped

From their places on magazine pages.

Passive faces staring, pointing

Out my inadequacies, and hiding behind

A mask I cry mascara tears

And can’t relax, can’t you see

My confidence is gone, smiles pasted on?

Worst Case

I signed my name, and an unspecified amount of time, away. I was scared, terrified, in unfamiliar territory, solo. I had sunk so low: emaciated body, crippling anxiety around eating, heightened fear and a sunken face. But this was not the worst-case scenario.

For I had been afraid of dying in my sleep and leaving my twin solo. I did not want to die but had become so afraid of true life. I was afraid of the unspecified fight in front of me, yet knew I could not live without refeeding, without facing fears that were killing me.

 

Grass peeks through concrete.

Water flows over large stones.

Dandelions blown.

 

I debated whether to post this or not. Linked to DVerse’s latest open link night.

Love, Your Body

Good morning! This is the body

That will be with you today.

I will be with you all day,

So I hope we can stay

Friends, and not get into arguments.

I know you don’t always agree

With me, but I want to be

With you, so I’m hoping

We can go do something fun

Today, something we will love.

 

I have unconditional love for you,

When you don’t give me much I do

What I can with the little I get.

This is love: Let me talk to you,

And walk together to greater

Things, a reborn way of living.

 

For just like you, I just want to be

Loved, and every part of us

Is made of and by Love,

So please, so not be afraid of me.

I want you to achieve

Beyond your wildest dreams,

 

Love,

Your Body

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Shared with Dverse’s open link night