For DVerse Poetics, we’re writing about food. Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows this topic can be quite heavy for me. Even if you’re “recovered” from an eating disorder, it never really leaves you. The topic of food can also be fun, but I went the “heavy” route because this poem wanted to be written. Not sure if this is a “good” poem, but I put my heart (and my painfully-visceral feelings) into it, so here goes. Linked with JusJoJan day 11 as well.
Eating Disorder Recovery
In the back of my mind…
In the beginning of our stream-of-consciousness Saturday post, we must have the words “In the…” What comes after that? I’m not sure. It’s past dinnertime, and I still haven’t written any poems at all today. Well, 2 lines of an acrostic, and 1.5 lines of another poem (not sure what form it will be).
In the back of my mind,
There is probably something
I still have left to say —
Something which one day
Was buried, yet buried alive.
Maybe that’s why
Anxiety won’t quite leave me,
Why it lives in my body —
It has more to say.
I was hoping to not write about anxiety / problems, but that’s what came out. At least I have actually written a whole poem today, finally.
Shaken
This form is called a Tricube.
The earth quakes
And I feel
Aftershocks
Everyone
Lives life like
Nothing’s wrong
They still shake –
Aftershocks
In my soul
Letter to the Future
For today’s Flashback Friday, we are going waaay back, to January 17, 2014. This poem is titled, “Letter to the Future,” and I found it especially interesting because now I am living in the “future” to which it is addressed.
Another Thing I’m Thankful For
This décima is for this week’s challenge from Ronovan Writes. The word is “stuff(ed),” which is appropriate considering that Thursday was Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving used to be absolutely terrifying to me because it felt synonymous with overeating. The last few years, thankfully, have been much easier. Even if I eat a lot of pie! It never completely goes away, but it’s been better overall.
Clothes Shopping is the Worst
This butterfly cinquain is for Brian’s prompt about shopping. I’ve gotten more relaxed about the things in the poem, but it’s still where my mind went. I think things have gotten better because I used to not think I was worthy to take up any space, more metaphorically, so I made myself take up literally as little space as possible. Anyway, I hate shopping, especially for clothes! Also linking with DVerse OLN.
A Realization
When I refused to eat at my family’s table,
I was refusing the only way my father knew
To show love, feeding him a “Screw you.”
Anger ate me up inside, there was no room
For life, and happiness was crowded out.
Thank God I learned it was okay to take up space.
Not sure about sharing this one, but it’s what I’ve got today. Linked to FOWC: Table.
Branches Grow
I wasn’t going to write for Prosery at DVerse, but having seen that the line was from T.S. Eliot, I was interested. This week’s line is from The Waste Land: “What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow out of this stony rubbish?”
Even This I Get to Experience
I know what it is to be hungry.
I know what it is to tell myself I am content. Continue reading
What the Tags Say
The MVB prompt, “Tags,” made me think of how the eating disorder made me obsessed with the size of my clothes — the smaller the better. It didn’t matter that some brands have different ways of sizing; if I didn’t fit into size X pants, then that was unacceptable.
This poem is also for FOWC: Falling and for MLMM’s Saturday Mix, which is about antithesis (using opposites) this week. Linked with the Writers’ Pantry at PSU.
Putting worth in the tags of clothes,
Thinking a letter or number knows —
Such a rough road, no smooth sailing,
Always thinking the wearer is failing
Therefore worn down, to despair falling.
Thankfully, a new way’s always calling:
No longer to sit so sad in shadows,
But to stand against what Life would oppose.
revivedwriter 