Apathy in 40 Words

Nothing sounds fun. 
Music, reading, even writing
Fill me with apathy:

So much nothing
It has a weight
In my chest and belly,
On my shoulders --

Yet still I live,
Getting older, 
Getting through drudgery,
Until life smiles on me. 

This depressing poem is brought to you by 3 prompts: FOWC: Drudgery, MVB: Fun, and Sammi Scribbles’ weekend writing prompt. One thing I’m grateful for: even though nothing sounds fun, I still can write stuff. I also sat down at the piano for 5 or 10 minutes earlier this morning. 

wk-296-apathy

Life’s Orchestra

The prompt for JusJoJan is “complaint.” Also for MVB: Melody. Depression really is an illness, because I don’t have any real complaints about my life (other than the fact that I can’t yet drive, and it’s going to take me forever to learn well). However, I wrote this poem, thinking about how depression sucks the life out of life. If that makes sense.


All the beauty depression dims, 
Makes me sleep, when I should
Keep my eyes open:
Lack of an attention span
Truncates melodies, where
Once I would listen fully,
Sensing more than discordant 
Harmonies, and appreciating 
All the different instruments 
In life's amazing orchestral piece. 
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Weekend Writing — Gratitude

Despite my resolution, I did not post yesterday. That’s because what I had for Stream-of-Consciousness Saturday was the following:

Once upon a time
There was a sweet little girl
And now she is dead

(I’m actually less depressed now than earlier)

Today’s word is gratitude. Great word, but I still can’t write a poem. Let’s write a gratitude list for now! 

  1. I am grateful for Mass and that I didn’t even get rained on this morning when I went.
  2. I love the feeling when I have ideas for poems. I have written a few today, and they’re better than nothing, just not really blog-worthy.
  3. I am grateful for my little stuffed cat, Squishy. It was a Christmas present from my brother, and it has hung out with me quite a bit while at home. I think it amuses my mom, too.
  4. I am grateful for the many prompts on WP, even if I don’t get a chance to respond to each one. It’s the possibilities that are so exciting and often overwhelming.
  5. Maybe this shouldn’t go on my gratitude list because I sleep too much, but I am grateful for my comfy bed and how nice and warm it gets.
This is Squishy. So named because he is very squishy.

Joy

Today I decided to share a short and sweet Chaucerian stanza that I wrote the other day.

Through sun and rain, it is a shining day
Because of all the jewels unearthed therein,
Smell petrichor, and see the rainbow ray
Even when some colors remain hidden.
Joy is not binary, all loss or win.
Give thanks to God the Father through the Son,
Perhaps not for all things, but through each one.

Happy New Year

Little steps:
Something to be proud of
As the world begins something brand-new

A new job
The world sees as little,
But gives me and others happiness

Broken up,
I am hoping to be
Put back together somehow better

Linda is hosting JusJoJan again this year — thank you, Linda! The prompt word is “resolution.” I don’t have any resolutions, other than to participate in JusJoJan, i.e. to post every day in January.

This poem was written this morning after reading some encouragement from a friend. I had been feeling down on myself because I didn’t get as far as I wanted to get in 2022. She reminded me that even “little progress” is “something to be proud of.”

Here’s some smiley-face pancakes!

Praise Anyway

I’m not entirely pleased with how this turned out but will share it for SoCS anyway. 🙂


Praise:
Sometimes
Difficult.
There are always
Tiny little gems
Which shine throughout the day,
Despite lingering darkness.
To be thankful for in the end,
Reminders of God’s enduring love.

I have depression but can have many happy days anyway. I can have a really hard day but can call it a good day anyway (I don’t really believe in bad days, only hard days).

Tired but Still Writing

I feel so tired, but I have to go to work in an hour. In addition, I can’t seem to write anything even vaguely poetic. 

I can be thankful that I get to go to work (especially since lately there haven’t been as many hours because we haven’t been busy, so they haven’t needed me as much). I am also thankful for the women’s group at my church, which just happened. It is better to go than not to go. 

Even with food and coffee, I’m still so tired. 


 

Sitting here trying to write, I can be thankful for words,
For the coffee and the gentle breeze, on this sunny weekday -- 
And the warmth of friends who are like family, in sweet memories. 

A sijo for Ronovan Writes’s prompt. 

Out of the Cell

For SoCS: “-cel-“ I am writing this on Friday because I will be on retreat this weekend and, therefore, without my cell phone. I’m feeling nervous to be without it, which probably means I’m addicted to it and should see if I can go a couple of days without internet and games.


Celebrate
Just being alive
When so much has attacked you —
There must be a reason why you live
After all.


Cell phone
Can open doors,
Yet can be a prison
When it gets in the way of love
Real