Raw Memory

It’s Haibun Monday at DVerse, and Frank suggests the theme of MEMORY. This was difficult and is more stream-of-consciousness style (so if it sucks, that’s why). It was inspired not only by recent events in my life but by the image that Frank chose to illustrate the original post:

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orange leaves floating 
juxtaposed on navy lake
amid faint ripples

It is spring; what is with the images of autumn? It seems the seasons have flipped, for the world is upside-down. 

The concept of "memory" feels too painful to probe. I remember your electrifying touch, yet closer is the searing flame of knowing I will never experience it again. 

Tears prick my eyes. I remember the last time it rained, and you were there near me with your warmth. It is spring, yet it is a cold and cloudy day, and I shiver. 

bare tree branches --
what was present now is left
crunching underfoot

Photo by Daniel Frank on Pexels.com

Life is a Story

Kriti at the blog “Life is Beauty” asks us this question: “Life is a story. What does yours say?”

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I can’t tell you what my life says so far… but what I want it to say, what I hope it will say, is that a person can triumph over his or her difficulties and suffering and, to quote the great Fulton Sheen, “Life is worth living.” In order to convey such a message with my life, I first need to believe it myself. I am not shy in admitting that my medication helps me to see that life is worth living and to find hope in every day. It seems like a miracle to me, after having been literally suicidal for so long, and now I want to get a better job and drive, and I believe that there is a possibility that I can actually flourish, not only survive but thrive.

Of course, this post would be incomplete without pointing to my Savior Jesus Christ, to whom I give credit for the lifesaving miracle of modern medicine and the deep love of my friends. However, I hope to inspire people of all faiths because no one is excluded from this hope. Depression kills, but it doesn’t have to.

writing down each day
reasons now to stay alive
a lengthening list

Anything Good?

Today is the feast of the apostle Saint Bartholomew / Nathaniel, which inspired me to write this haibun:

I sit crying due to unexplained yet expected emotional pain. It’s not a surprise, but there is little I can do to prepare. The only way out is through. The only way through is to believe that some greater good may, through grace, arise from this half-dead and deadly place. “Can these bones live?”* “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”** Faith gives an unequivocal assent, even if one must wait for it.

 

greater things to see:
angels descending, ascending
as the journey goes

   * Ezekiel 37
   ** John 1:45-51

image found here

Hummingbird

This haibun, inspired by something that just happened this morning (the haiku is more like zappai), also fits yesterday’s 3TC: flight, wing, and flap. 

Webbed Paddling Feet

Thanks to Leyde Ryan’s post, I rediscovered the “Three Things Challenge” (3TC). The three things were the title of this post. 🙂 The first thing I thought of was DUCKS!!! and that made me so happy that I had to try to write something for it, a poem or at least a few sentences.

Turns out, the duck theme was intentional, and also, those 3 words were from yesterday, not today. Nevertheless, here is my thing. It turned into a haibun:

Just yesterday a Facebook "memory" from a whole year ago popped up: A friend and I had gone to a nearby park to look at ducks, and I had taken a few photos and even a video of our adventure. How could that have been so long ago? Thinking too much about time passing makes me sad, but seeing those pictures again put a smile on my face. 

Today that same friend sent me a message, saying that it had been a while, that we should see the ducks together again. 

on land, in water
time flows quickly yet always
happiness waddles

A photo from that day — ducks walking with webbed feet

We saw ducklings paddling with their little feet in the water
AWWWWWW! ❤

Notes

I made a note in my little poetry notebook to respond to today’s SoCS prompt. As usual, I want to write a poem, but it’s not happening. I’m writing poems about something that will take a lot of bravery to do…. which I won’t post because even I don’t want to share it with potentially the whole internet (even though there are only, like, 20 of you that consistently read my stuff — thank you, by the way!). 

I make many notes about poems to write “one day.” Most of those ideas do eventually become whole poems. 🙂 Maybe I should make a note to write about making a note, or just write right now. (“Write right” — homophones, LOL [that was weird, but this is SoCS]) 

 

writing many notes --
how many will become poems
having a purpose?

This Summer Solstice

For DVerse’s Haibun Monday, for which the theme is the summer or winter (depending on which side of the equator you live on) solstice. I’m happy to write for this. 🙂

Will the sun stand still? I'm not ready for the days to start shortening, gradual as is may be. It's scary because I want to stay happy. This past week has been a medical miracle, a blessing, and/or a stroke of luck; but like the solstice it may only be brief. Mood, like time, moves like the waves at the beaches -- which I might like to visit soon.

scorching heat
walking -- grains of sand
salt water

Photo I took while driving (I was a passenger) in Hawaii, 8/2019

June Birthdays

For DVerse Poetics’s ekphrastic poetry prompt, inspired by the picture below, I’ve written a haibun:

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Yesterday, my grandma called my mom that the doe in her backyard, which she could see from her window, had just given birth. The doe was still licking the fawn, which was trying to stand up on its gangly, spindly legs. What a privilege to witness this beautiful, newborn life!

A short time later, Grandma called my mom back and said, “You’re not the only one who can have twins.”

life comes surprising,
an adorable duo
two fawns on the lawn

Carl Zimmermann, Deer in a Summer Meadow

What Do You See?

It’s the last day for Sadje’s WDYS #135, and this is also written for MLMM’s Photo Challenge #415. This turned out pretty meta.

Why has it been so hard for me to write something about this? This picture is more open-ended than most; my response could go anywhere. Just like that path through the trees. Just like much of life. The plethora of possibilities, the branching pathways — they make decisive action more difficult, becoming paralyzing.

Let’s start. Just write. What’s through those trees?

After long walking
Find a place to cool and rest —
Tiger in the pool!

Photo credit Claudia Weijers

Summertime, and the Living Was Easy

For DVerse’s Haibun Monday today, we are considering summer. I have been thinking lately that the summer season really should start before the summer solstice, maybe on June 1st. 🙂

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I remember the excitement of mid-June: class parties, signing yearbooks, summer break coming soon. Family vacations we used to take, big birthday parties with cake and other celebrations, Fourth-of-July fireworks. Completely carefree days. And then, the dread of another August ending. 

              

remember those days,
                 summertime the pinnacle 
                         of kids' existence