Hey look, a dog!

I love when I am walking and see a dog. The bad part is, right when the dog gets close, its owner pulls it away, so as not to “bother” me. But it’s like, “No, I want to be bothered by your dog!”

a golden retriever lying on green grass field
Photo by Barnabas Davoti on Pexels.com

I am feeling extra depressed today, so am Just Jotting. Maybe I will go to the coffee shop. Part of my depression is that I’m not getting enough hours at work, but I’m not sure how functional I’d be at work, anyway. I image-searched “sad coffee” and found this:

Images: sad face black and white | Black and white of sad face on mug or coffee cup on wood ...

Ideal

Life is hardly ever ideal, but it can always be good.

— one of my happy thoughts from yesterday

Yesterday was not an ideal day, and I didn’t even post for JusJoJan (although now I’m using the word). However, there were several aspects to be happy about, and by the end of the day, I felt very loved. Fun fact: I only wrote 2, very cruddy poems yesterday, but today I have 5 1/2  already.

For One-Liner Wednesday.

A Friendship Nurtured

Today’s prompt for JusJoJan is “friendship.” It’s apropos, since I spent time with 2 friends and their family today (they are sisters). Aside from going to Mass, due to unforeseen circumstances, I ended up spending a few hours at their house. The circumstances are not so positive, but I do think everything works out for the best. At the very least, we are all happy that we got to spend time with each other and have a good lunch, play chess, and do other fun activities. Being away from my own home and with people almost all day, I was not able to write much, let alone any shareable poems.

After today, both of them will be returning to college / where they work (they came back to their parents’ house for Christmas and New Year’s Day). We might not see each other for 5 months or so, but our friendship can be nurtured by texts and phone calls, and I’m pretty good about picking up where I left off with people. Once I’m your friend, it’s difficult to not be my friend anymore. 🙂


I decided to write a haiku for Ronovan Writes’ haiku challenge. Follow the link for details.

Even should we break
Let us work to mend all wounds
Stitching them with love

Haiku Challenge

Story Time!

Today’s prompt for JusJoJan is “cancer.” I did not write any poems about cancer, and in fact I have written exactly 2 poems today, neither of which I want to share. However, I need to post because of my resolution, so you (might) know what that means:

STORY TIME!

My grandma, my mother’s mother, died of cancer when I was 12. She had ovarian cancer, and the really sad part is that doctors could have just taken out her ovaries surgically (she didn’t really need them anymore), but my grandma was a lifelong smoker and had emphysema. Because of this, she would not have been able to breathe while under anesthesia. So she died of smoking / cancer, but not lung cancer.

One bright spot in this story is — this is so like my grandma — one weekend, the doctor said that she wouldn’t live past the weekend, and she died on Monday. Stubborn and wanting to prove them wrong to the very end! I did write a poem for her Celebration of Life party and may have read it to everyone but don’t know where it is now

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New Year’s Questions

Today, just for fun, I am answering questions for the Wednesday Hodgepodge (the day after, on Thursday).

  • Did you set any goals for the new year this time last year? Did you meet them or miss the mark? Tell us more if you’re comfortable sharing.

I honestly do not remember, so I’ll have to look back in my journal. However, if I did make any goals, I probably failed at them. XD The way this year has been, I think a positive outcome from any resolutions is unlikely. Astrid, another blogger whose posts I like to read, says that she calls them “hopes.”  So here are my hopes for 2023: learning to drive, getting a better job, and staying alive. I really just want to be happy, and being able to drive will help with a lot.

peace word carved in wood
Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

  • What are three words that might describe the kind of person you were this past year or describe in some way how your life looked?

Prosaic, breakup, prayerful

  • What’s something new you ate, saw, heard, or experienced in 2022? What did you think?

My life is so boring… Working retail. It can be hard, and some customers can get angry at you for no reason, but overall I’ve had a good experience and enjoyed my job. I like being around all the people and praying silently for everyone who comes in.

  • Oxford Dictionary has announced its word of the year for 2022, and it’s this-goblin mode. Huh? Have you ever heard this phrase? Used this phrase? If you were in charge, what word would you declare word of the year for 2022?

I’ve never heard this phrase until now. However, I don’t know what a good replacement would be. Maybe Wordle, since that game was so popular. I never played it myself, but my mom did, and sometimes I would help her if she got stuck.

  • Any special plans for an end of year celebration in your house or town?

No, unfortunately. I’ll probably stay up until midnight, but I’ll also have to get up for Mass the next morning, so we’ll see. 🙂

  • Insert your own random thought here.

The depression was getting pretty bad today, but what helped me feel better was: my family and I watched a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie, and then I hung out with a friend. Usually, I find this time of year extremely triggering because, aside from it getting dark so early, I feel like a disappointment and a failure, and I also hate how time passes. It’s brought to the forefront now. Last year I wanted to, let’s say, self-delete on New Year’s Eve. It’s a tough time, friends…. :/

This was fun, though! Thanks for reading!

For a Friend

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad and happy at the same time. It’s okay to have your heart hurting while another’s is bursting with joy.

I’m writing this for a friend. That friend is me. That friend would probably want to die, if not for the psychiatric meds that keep her alive. The only present she wants is love and to feel special, but that can’t be bought or fit under the tree. She wants to be worth a diamond ring to somebody.

Her heart hurts, when she wishes she was happy, and that has to be okay.