Empty Words

A last-minute post before I go to sleep. For FOWC: Platitude. I really feel this. I wrote this poem appropriately one minute ago. 


Don’t say only, “I’ll pray for you,”

Which I don’t mind as long as you

Follow through, but make it more than a 

Platitude: Don’t you think these tears

Could be alleviated by proximity, more than

Secret, hidden intercession with Divinity?

Please don’t leave me alone. 

 

 


I am a Christian who believes that prayer can help things. I equally believe that we are called to do more than “just” pray, if we can. EVEN THE BOOK OF JAMES SAYS THIS. 

The caps lock was accidental, but I’m keeping it because it’s actually perfect! 

That is all. Good night. 

Way Back When

Today I’m participating in E. M.’s Sunday Ramble. It’s a nice topic and also fits well with other prompted words. 🙂 This week’s topic is “Childhood Memories.” 



What is your first good memory from your childhood? (If this is a trigger question for you, tell me how your day is and what the best thing is about today.)

Probably on my 7th birthday, when I received a Gameboy from my grandma. 😆 It was purple — my favorite color at the time — and she also bought Pokémon Blue version. My twin brother received a green Gameboy and Pokémon Red version from her. 

Name 3 things that you loved when you were just a youngster?

Play-Doh! Stickers! I also had a blast playing with makeup, especially with my friends, which is hilarious because I don’t wear any makeup now. 

What did you dislike, or even hate, when you were growing up?

Hmm… I hated (and still hate) drinking milk and eating melted cheese. I loved pizza but would take all the cheese off. 🤣 I still don’t like when something has a lot of cheese, but I eat pizza like a normal person now. 

If you could go give your younger self one piece of advice, what would you tell them?

I would blast my younger self with the message, “Your personality is different, not wrong.” I’m an INFJ, so I have always been very “sensitive” and intuitive. Growing up, many aspects of my personality were looked down upon in my family. I still have a bunch of baggage, NGL, but now I actually like how I am and don’t really want to be that different (as long as I stay sane haha). 

What kind of celebrations did you enjoy when you were little, and do you still like those celebrations now that you are grown?

I liked Christmas and my birthday a lot growing up (what kid doesn’t?). I still like Christmas, but it’s awkward now because I’m a Catholic, and the rest of my family aren’t even Christian in any meaningful way. My brothers are atheists, and I lived with my parents for 20 years before I found out that they considered themselves Christian, so there you go. 

As for my birthday, I no longer like it. In fact, I have had a crisis around my birthday for the past few years, and this year is no exception.   😭 It’s coming… *cue Jaws theme music* 

  • Bonus Question: What commercial did you always wait for to come on television as a child? (If you didn’t like commercials or television, what event did you wait for to come about when you were a kid?

I don’t remember liking any commercials. However, my brothers and I watched a ton of them because our family didn’t have a TiVo or anything yet. I remember wanting SO MANY toys, thanks to these commercials! I’m glad that my parents did not give in to most of my whining. 🙂

 

SoCS, Clearly

There are so many blog posts to catch up on reading, plus other books that I say I want to read, things that I allegedly want to do — but when it comes down to it, I am often too agitated, tearful, or would just prefer to go to bed. Clearly, I am going insane — but this happens every 4th week, so don’t worry. Or do, if you want, as I just get more and more over this ish every time.

The Internet helps me, but Crazy Jenna shouldn’t have an Internet connection, or else I bother people, and you get posts like this. Clearly not good.


If you have read this far, I shall reward you with a poem (“reward”). I wrote this sijo about the ducklings yesterday.

They hatched a little later this year, yet we get to see them:
Ducklings swimming in the running water, gaining strength for flight,
Ducklings staying close to Mama, not far from her wide wings.

 

Some Odd Motivation

It’s Tuesday evening, so you (might) know what that means: Sijo time! Our inspiration this week is high school, a time in my life that I actually really enjoyed — when I wasn’t struggling with crippling mental illness. 🙂 In addition, this day happens to mark 3 years since I graduated from college.



Graduated from college three years ago, I hardly know how,
High school before that — I never expected either success
Yet here I sit writing, a fountain which refuses to quit.

IMG_20190525_132103

Ronovan Writes Sijo Challenge Image

You all know by now that I am unendingly enthusiastic about writing. I also can’t get enough of cute baby animals, especially ducklings! Figured I’d share a picture from today. A friend rescued me and took me to go see them. ❤️ A world with ducklings in it isn’t all bad.

Seen earlier today. Don’t you love them? 🥰

Lifting

The writing part of my brain (which is most of my brain, at this point), has been active today, so I’ve got this reverse etheree to share. I might even post twice today — working on a poem that requires a bit of  research! 😀


Soul
Lifting:
Risen Christ
Opens Heaven,
Rejoice and be glad
To know this endless day,
Leaving no place for shadows.
Upward movement: dead live again,
Corruptibility having been
Restored to everlasting radiance.

white clouds and blue sky
Photo by Ithalu Dominguez on Pexels.com

evaporating

Yesterday was a great day! I got to hang out with friends and even see pictures of one friend’s new kitten and in-person tiny ducklings! This morning was also great, as I got to go to Mass and see people, even my priest’s dog (and he’s also really cool without the dog).

That’s why I can’t figure out why I feel like this:

less than half a day
cuteness and companionship
evaporating —

this is not my will
this is the monster’s bidding,
his chilling fingers

blindfolding my eyes,
blanketing my memory
life’s heat extinguished

descending circles
I am Persephone tricked,
taken to Hades

woman under the water
Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com

The Good Life

Brian’s prompt for this week, which I am once again trying to complete on Thursday, is “the good life.” It was nice to reflect on what makes a good life — a good life does not have to be an easy life. It was also a timely reminder that I already have many aspects of “the good life.” 🙂 At the end of each day, before going to sleep, I thank God for many things, every good thing that I can remember from the day — and most days I have a litany. This poem is also for DVerse and is a cinq-cinquain.


Breathe in:
Salty sea air,
Relaxing on the sand
Feeling the sun as the waves break —
Take breaks

Sometimes.
Other times life
Requires the daily grind,
Work giving oneself a purpose,
Reason

To wake
Each new morning,
Other than the coffee
(Although that always is a plus
For me) —

Even
In Eden ere
The first sin, Adam worked
As a gardener helping all life
To grow —

Reasons
To face each day,
A purpose found in life:
Actions to take, imprints to leave,
To love

a golden retriever lying on green grass field
Photo by Barnabas Davoti on Pexels.com

I think having a doggy would make “the good life” even better. 🙂

NO. WAY.

Shock:
I’m not fine
I am never fine,
Dare to peer in this brain of
Mine?

See:
Look at me,
Does anyone care,
Beyond a few words and one
Prayer?

Days
Seem static,
Going nowhere while
Brain runs off a cliff or it
Fries.

FINE

Good time to reprise this photo

My thought process before this: “Okay, I finally finished that happy poem from last week. Let’s let out the other stuff.” MVB: Shock. FOWC: Anybody (close enough?). Then I started writing and realized I could make it into a Quadrille for DVerse; the week’s word is “static.”  I’m not linking this up with it but figured I’d give credit for the inspiration. 🙂  At least I’ve written more now!!

A Fibonacci Poem

For SoCS. I’m not actually feeling this negative, at least not when I wrote this. 🙂

 


Zip
Zilch
Zero:
Nothing left
After a tiring
Day, not able to tell a lie,
I'm just done, brain overloaded but also running
Thanks to anxiety, coffee,
And a miracle. 
Now back to
Zero, 
Zilch, 
Zip. 

That poem is a lot truer now than when it was written a couple of hours ago. I must be a prophet! 😆

Journal… Have fun reading

I’ve been nervous for today. I’m going to be all alone all day, and it’s really bad timing because satan hates me. 😅

In addition, my phone reminded me that three years ago today was a really tough day. Long story short, my friend knew that I was in a horrific mind-place, so she all but kidnapped me and forced me to hang out with her and some friends, watching Legally Blonde, eating pizza, and playing with a little dog. Then, she didn’t let me go home until I was 95% asleep. 

My phone reminded me of this by bringing up the photos of that dog. 

I’m trying to make this day good, though! At least I am reminded of how much that friend loved me. 😊 We’ve pretty much lost touch, but I pray for her every. Single. Day. What she did is really the pinnacle of friendship, even though I was pissed about it at the time. 

A poem will be posted later today.