For a Friend

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad and happy at the same time. It’s okay to have your heart hurting while another’s is bursting with joy.

I’m writing this for a friend. That friend is me. That friend would probably want to die, if not for the psychiatric meds that keep her alive. The only present she wants is love and to feel special, but that can’t be bought or fit under the tree. She wants to be worth a diamond ring to somebody.

Her heart hurts, when she wishes she was happy, and that has to be okay.

Friends’ Hearts

For this week’s One-Liner Wednesday, I have this quotation from the great Archbishop Fulton Sheen, found in my book of his quotations. 

In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder.

I think this is applicable to any true, deep friendship and does not have to be a romantic relationship.

Loving Heart

I’ve written some Halloween / scary-themed poems today, but the one I am sharing is much more light-hearted. 😊 It is a Septanelle for FOWC: Harmony and MVB: Delighted. Thanks to Paula Light for, through one of her blog posts, introducing me to the Septanelle form.

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A loving heart,
Delight from the inside:
Love reminds that no one is far apart
And does not hide
But more it longs to give,
In harmony it helps us all to live,
Forgive, restart.

Are You?

Are you a Kindly Moon?
Is that why I've been feeling
Happy, lately, despite 
Missing him?
            (Someone said,
"The heart is a lonely hunter"
And is that not true, mournful
As a wolf's howl?)

Happy, lately, despite 
Being a Traveler in the tension
Between now and not-yet? 

There's nothing wrong with wanting,
Nor with the process of waiting,
But if I were a gopher I would 
Look back,
          (If I were Lot's wife I would
Be all salty)
                   Longing for a past
Which can never be remembered 
With the fidelity of Ivy --

      Yet, Kindly Moon, you see
      The harvest growing tall
      And ripe, after this Seed Fall. 

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Thanks to DVerse Poetics for this prompt, using the various names for the October full moon as inspiration (follow the link for the full list). Also inspired by FOWC: Tension. I’m not sure whether this “Kindly Moon” pleasant and stable mood will last, but at least I could write this. 

Photo by David Besh on Pexels.com

Ouch

M-R-S degree:
Not life’s entire attainment
But I can’t help it —
Want someone to share my life,
Someone to accept my love

This tanka was inspired by the wordle below from MLMM. The word “marriage” specifically led to me writing this. The point of a wordle is to use most / all of the words, but I’m still linking up.

A couple of months ago, my bf and I of 15 months broke up, since his mother decided that she didn’t like me, for the sole reason that I have an entry-level job. It has been a really hard process, especially because my ex hardly even stood up and fought for me, even though he was crazy about me and all but proposed. Everyone I’ve spoken to says that A. his mother was way out of line, and B. I deserve better. Sometimes I believe that. In fact, I believed it more in the beginning, to be honest. I even got angry with my now-ex and told him to “grow some balls” — and I usually don’t use that kind of language, especially not to someone’s face!

Today it still hurts so much to be judged in such a way. It has been especially difficult because even if I “deserve better,” where can I find “better;” I don’t know?

Joyful Hearts

A few days ago, I finished this coloring page and wrote an ekphrastic poem inspired by it. Because of the short verse, I am sharing with One-Liner Wednesday. I am curious: Does this picture make you think of anything or inspire you to write something? 

“A joyful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22

Pierce my heart with a hole-punch, 
String it on a garland with some others; 
Perhaps we can create beauty in pain,
That amid these twisted patterns 
And circular paths, we might find
Ways to hope and cope, reasons to laugh. 

It Takes Courage

It takes courage to cultivate empathy, to not callus your heart against the pain of the world and so many (too many) people in it, or even against the truth that is in one’s own heart and history. The eating disorder numbed a lot of that for me. I remember, in early recovery, it was so difficult to feel all that anger and sadness and other “negative” emotions that had previously been numbed. However, after about a month in a special recovery home, I laughed, and one of the girls commented, “I’ve never seen you look so happy.” That was when I realized that not only had my difficulties been numbed, but my true enjoyment of life as well. It took a TON of work. It still does; I won’t lie and admit that I have to remain watchful and remember that the eating disorder voice IS a liar and it DOES want to destroy me.

These things inspired a sijo for Ronovan Writes about “work.”  By the way, this was not what I had been expecting to write all week, since I saw the prompt. It’s remarkable how that happens.

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What an insurmountable mountain stands, over life's landscape: 
All the troubles that had been buried now seen, a little at a time, 
Yet little treasures and caring comforts are also unearthed.

A Sunday Poem

I meant to write a whole lot more today, but because of being first busy and then extremely tired, I only wrote a few short poems this morning. This tanka was based on a reading from morning prayer and on Psalm 51.

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God does not despise
A humble and contrite heart:
He offers you Love,
Wants to bring you into Love
More deeply and for always

Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.com

Writing a Bridge

My attempt at a super-short 6-sentence story for this week’s prompt, strike, combined with the Sunday Bridge Challenge from My Vivid Blog (this is my first time trying it). The first and last sentences are given to us by chellebee53 at MVB.

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Madge folded the letter and put it in the drawer. It was a love letter from her longtime beau, Robert. She was head-over-heels for him, and he felt the same — at least, that was what she had thought.

When he told her that he had met someone else, it felt worse than a strike in the face, than a sharp knife carving into her heart.

With tears in her eyes and ghosts of memories keeping her company, she wondered if she would ever be able to let him go, to move forward, to start again. Only time would tell.

Photo by Tomer Dahari on Pexels.com

Landai for [name redacted]

When I think of you, this beating heart
Swells, like an ocean wave flowing toward the shoreline,

Without you I feel a bit adrift,
A little sail-boat unmoored, alone on the ocean

I love you like the waves love the sand,
Even if I know I'm made for depths and great journeys --

You will be there with me in each gale,
Yet staying means I'll never get to where I'm going.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

 

A rather melancholy group of landai, inspired by FOWC: Swell. Sharing with Friday Writings.