Ouch

M-R-S degree:
Not life’s entire attainment
But I can’t help it —
Want someone to share my life,
Someone to accept my love

This tanka was inspired by the wordle below from MLMM. The word “marriage” specifically led to me writing this. The point of a wordle is to use most / all of the words, but I’m still linking up.

A couple of months ago, my bf and I of 15 months broke up, since his mother decided that she didn’t like me, for the sole reason that I have an entry-level job. It has been a really hard process, especially because my ex hardly even stood up and fought for me, even though he was crazy about me and all but proposed. Everyone I’ve spoken to says that A. his mother was way out of line, and B. I deserve better. Sometimes I believe that. In fact, I believed it more in the beginning, to be honest. I even got angry with my now-ex and told him to “grow some balls” — and I usually don’t use that kind of language, especially not to someone’s face!

Today it still hurts so much to be judged in such a way. It has been especially difficult because even if I “deserve better,” where can I find “better;” I don’t know?

Joyful Hearts

A few days ago, I finished this coloring page and wrote an ekphrastic poem inspired by it. Because of the short verse, I am sharing with One-Liner Wednesday. I am curious: Does this picture make you think of anything or inspire you to write something? 

“A joyful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22

Pierce my heart with a hole-punch, 
String it on a garland with some others; 
Perhaps we can create beauty in pain,
That amid these twisted patterns 
And circular paths, we might find
Ways to hope and cope, reasons to laugh. 

It Takes Courage

It takes courage to cultivate empathy, to not callus your heart against the pain of the world and so many (too many) people in it, or even against the truth that is in one’s own heart and history. The eating disorder numbed a lot of that for me. I remember, in early recovery, it was so difficult to feel all that anger and sadness and other “negative” emotions that had previously been numbed. However, after about a month in a special recovery home, I laughed, and one of the girls commented, “I’ve never seen you look so happy.” That was when I realized that not only had my difficulties been numbed, but my true enjoyment of life as well. It took a TON of work. It still does; I won’t lie and admit that I have to remain watchful and remember that the eating disorder voice IS a liar and it DOES want to destroy me.

These things inspired a sijo for Ronovan Writes about “work.”  By the way, this was not what I had been expecting to write all week, since I saw the prompt. It’s remarkable how that happens.

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What an insurmountable mountain stands, over life's landscape: 
All the troubles that had been buried now seen, a little at a time, 
Yet little treasures and caring comforts are also unearthed.

A Sunday Poem

I meant to write a whole lot more today, but because of being first busy and then extremely tired, I only wrote a few short poems this morning. This tanka was based on a reading from morning prayer and on Psalm 51.

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God does not despise
A humble and contrite heart:
He offers you Love,
Wants to bring you into Love
More deeply and for always

Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.com

Writing a Bridge

My attempt at a super-short 6-sentence story for this week’s prompt, strike, combined with the Sunday Bridge Challenge from My Vivid Blog (this is my first time trying it). The first and last sentences are given to us by chellebee53 at MVB.

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Madge folded the letter and put it in the drawer. It was a love letter from her longtime beau, Robert. She was head-over-heels for him, and he felt the same — at least, that was what she had thought.

When he told her that he had met someone else, it felt worse than a strike in the face, than a sharp knife carving into her heart.

With tears in her eyes and ghosts of memories keeping her company, she wondered if she would ever be able to let him go, to move forward, to start again. Only time would tell.

Photo by Tomer Dahari on Pexels.com

Landai for [name redacted]

When I think of you, this beating heart
Swells, like an ocean wave flowing toward the shoreline,

Without you I feel a bit adrift,
A little sail-boat unmoored, alone on the ocean

I love you like the waves love the sand,
Even if I know I'm made for depths and great journeys --

You will be there with me in each gale,
Yet staying means I'll never get to where I'm going.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

 

A rather melancholy group of landai, inspired by FOWC: Swell. Sharing with Friday Writings.

Quirky Man

It’s Flashback Friday! It also happens to be the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in the Catholic Church. 🙂 Usually this date, June 24th, celebrates the birth of St. John the Baptist, so that’s what this poem, written exactly 3 years ago, is about. It’s in a form called a Rhyming Wave and is kind of funny. 🙂

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Saint John the Baptist was a quirky man,
A quirky, quirky, quirky man,
He acted strongly in God’s plan,
He acted zealously.

He said, “Greater comes after me,
Comes after, after, after me,”
He dined on locusts with honey,
He dined in wilderness.

John the Baptist was a quirky man,
He dined in wilderness.

Lux in Tenebris

It’s a day late for Fandango’s Flashback Friday, so here I am with “See-it-again Saturday.”  🙂 This time I skimmed through my archives for past Junes, especially for poems written around this same date (June 10th or 11th). I found several good ones, if I can say so myself. This chance to go back and read poems that I’ve forgotten about is quite welcome!I hope you enjoy reading. 😀

First, a tetractys, originally published here:

Have
The key
To my heart:
It wants to be
Loved deeply, for itself, like anyone.

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I was encouraged by Jenna-from-5-years-ago with this one:

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
— John 1:5

Words might be hurtful,
And rejection, might be mine,
But my God redeems it,
Et lux in tenebris lucet.

Will my friends abandon me,
In this Gethsemane?
But God gets me through it,
Et lux in tenebris lucet.

Amidst mean words,
I seek my Shepherd:
My lamp is lit,
Et lux in tenebris lucet.

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Lastly, I wanted to link to this poem here, titled  “Water Is Dry,” which I found intriguing.

Deep Emotions

I love the quotation and really relate to it. However, the fact that Sylvia Plath said it concerns me… 😅 see this poem of mine

I am not feeling forlorn or despairing today but just wanted to share that. Here is a poem I wrote today on a similar theme:

Out of compassion,
My soul yearns for connection —
In my heart always

Even if you forget me
Memory will be precious

Let’s Talk

I fully intended to be on-prompt today for NaPoWriMo — the prompt is about repetition; how difficult could that be? However, I haven’t written a full poem since this morning, so I have for you this cherita. I wrote it while sitting in a café inside of a bookstore, and it was inspired by the title of a book, which became the first line of my poem.

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Let’s talk about hard things:

Let’s talk about hurts still festering,
Lodged in crevices of heart’s ventricles;

How difficult it is to vivify what’s dying —
I must vomit the necrotic out of my mouth,
It’s even more sickening while hidden.

 

It can be dangerous to swallow the truth that needs to be spoken.