Ouch

M-R-S degree:
Not life’s entire attainment
But I can’t help it —
Want someone to share my life,
Someone to accept my love

This tanka was inspired by the wordle below from MLMM. The word “marriage” specifically led to me writing this. The point of a wordle is to use most / all of the words, but I’m still linking up.

A couple of months ago, my bf and I of 15 months broke up, since his mother decided that she didn’t like me, for the sole reason that I have an entry-level job. It has been a really hard process, especially because my ex hardly even stood up and fought for me, even though he was crazy about me and all but proposed. Everyone I’ve spoken to says that A. his mother was way out of line, and B. I deserve better. Sometimes I believe that. In fact, I believed it more in the beginning, to be honest. I even got angry with my now-ex and told him to “grow some balls” — and I usually don’t use that kind of language, especially not to someone’s face!

Today it still hurts so much to be judged in such a way. It has been especially difficult because even if I “deserve better,” where can I find “better;” I don’t know?

Where does strength come from?

This is a poem I wrote today, which I am sharing with DVerse Open-Link. We are going live today, so I intend to read this aloud. Not sure if I like the ending. It is hard to end poems well, at least hard for me to do so, so I am interested in feedback (and also wanting to use Fandango’s one-word for today 🙂 ).


 

Strength comes from loving.
Strength comes from sitting with others in their sorrows,
Without attempting to convince them of better tomorrows
Just sitting, being a comfort in their crying.

Strength comes from crying.
Being what society says is strong for too long,
Finally admitting that times are terribly trying
Such that it seems a curse just to be living.

Strength comes from living.
Strength comes from loving, sitting, crying, trying.
Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com

So Loved

You know that you are so loved —
By whom? Just by God
And my mom?

A cruddy quinzaine poem for MLMM’s Saturday Mix. I’d like to try to write another one, but that’s where my mind’s at. Like, maybe there are 2 other people besides God and my mom (but they didn’t fit in the poem). Overall, people don’t care. Unless you say that you want to die, and even then I don’t think they care, so much as they don’t want to feel like they let someone die.  I don’t really want to die right now; it’s just the depression is horribly symptomatic (and has been for, like, years).

Strong Towers

This poem, written in blank verse, was inspired by this page that I colored today. Yesterday some exemplary friends helped me. It was the kind of situation where I couldn’t be left alone, but they went out of their way to help me and show me love. 

Flowers with a Bible verse
The name of God is like a tower strong,
There's safety found within its stalwart walls, 
And mercy gives a multitude of gifts. 
True friends have come, responding to the call
Of great distress, have kept me loved and safe, 
Have seen the gravity of pain and fear --
Yet also have assured that they stay near. 

What not to do

For One-Liner Wednesday, I have a quotation from the great Archbishop Fulton Sheen. This is taken from my daily book of his quotations.

We hate others and call it ‘zeal;’ we flatter people because of what they can do for us, and call it ‘love;” we lie to them, and call it ‘tact.’

Help us to not be like this but to be honest and truly loving, focusing on what we can give and not what we can get. 

New Moon

The moon is new, and so the sky is dark.
The stars are shining someplace but not here.
The difference ‘twixt Now and Then is stark,
For nighttime’s Guide is gone, and there’s the fear
Of what comes next, no, even what is Now —
Rewriting of the story not allowed.


Shared with DVerse OLN because I wanted to post a poem today, short though it is.

Need

No need for an expensive gift, nor anything 
Wrapped in pretty paper (though
Bubble wrap's a plus), just
Wrap me in a loving hug, and hold
Me close. At most I'll need
A small chocolate treat, and then
I'll hear your heart's speech easily. 

My quadrille for DVerse’s Quadrille Monday, and the word of the week is “wrap!” I tried to write something on the fun side. 😊 I don’t mind gifts (or chocolate!), but hugs are my favorite. 

Sweets from 2018

A Letter, Written

I wrote a letter that I'll never send,
I wrote some music that I'll never play:
Some souvenirs from when the world upend
-Ed; here I am still wishing you would stay.
These words and music, writing -- how I pray
To exorcize the ghosts that cause me grief,
A loss expected, unexpected thief. 

For Sadje’s WDYS prompt from this week (image below). 

A Sunday Poem

I meant to write a whole lot more today, but because of being first busy and then extremely tired, I only wrote a few short poems this morning. This tanka was based on a reading from morning prayer and on Psalm 51.


God does not despise
A humble and contrite heart:
He offers you Love,
Wants to bring you into Love
More deeply and for always

frozen wave against sunlight
Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.com