Happy Birthday

For DVerse Poetics, we’re writing about food. Anyone who regularly reads this blog knows this topic can be quite heavy for me. Even if you’re “recovered” from an eating disorder, it never really leaves you. The topic of food can also be fun, but I went the “heavy” route because this poem wanted to be written. Not sure if this is a “good” poem, but I put my heart (and my painfully-visceral feelings) into it, so here goes. Linked with JusJoJan day 11 as well.


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So?

Flashback Friday.


I wasn’t going to post anything today, but Linda’s challenge tells us to “Just Jot It,” JusJoJan 7, so here is something. I wrote this exactly 3 years ago:

Memento —
Memento mori
Moribund flowers wilt into winter,
Winter sun sleeps early,
Earlier than you think will the grim reaper come,
Come to claim your life, so —

So how are you going to live?

A Poem on December 30th

This is a timely week for Brian’s current prompt, Past and Present. I don’t really want to think about the new year. It’s making me sad and all sorts of things. You could say I am experiencing sundry emotions, most of them not very pleasant. I’m not sure if this thing is done, but it is what it is right now.


Past depressions
Come back up to level paths,
But the lesson
I’ve been learning most is that
Level paths fall down again,
Even to the present,
Likely to the future too.

The beginning
Of another end has come;
I’m not wanting
Its days, hollow hopes unwelcome.

Dear 2021….

Inspired by the current prompt for the Friday Writings, even though I can’t link up because I already linked up something different yesterday. Warning: I am very honest in this post, so it might be depressing and/or distressing. I liked these pictures, found on the original post:

Let Us Hope found on 12_20

Dear 2021,

At the end of each year, I usually like to do a sort of retrospective and reflect on the past year: “What happened? How did I grow? What goals did I accomplish?” This is the extent to which that is going to happen.

What did happen this year? I’ve been unemployed since the start of the pandemic (was it only last year that things were normal?). I’ve tried to find a job, yet mental health and lack of motivation has hindered doing very much. I also don’t want to have to wear a face mask, and maybe people would tell me, “Just suck it up and do it,” but I just can’t right now.

So, “what did happen this year?” I certainly wrote a lot, and I prayed approximately a thousand rosaries. 🙂 That’s the redeeming aspect of this whole mess: the prayer groups that I’ve discovered, that I believe God led me to. Without them, I would feel more lonely, more alone, more useless — overall, even more crazy!

Another great thing is that, in October of this year, I got to attend a Latin Mass! The only other time I’ve been able to do that is nearly 5 years ago, and I was so happy to rediscover how beautiful and sacred and holy that was/is. Now, let’s hope and pray that our pope doesn’t try to quash it any more than he already has….

I suppose one thing I can be proud of is that this year, I survived 2 suicide attempts, in July and in September. Please, someone give my Guardian Angel a promotion.

In my usual year-end reflections, I also ask myself what I am looking forward to in the coming year. The image that is above exemplifies that, at least the best-case scenario. Not sure what I’m looking forward to, to be honest. The positive is that the prospect of the year 2022 doesn’t completely fill me with dread. The apprehensiveness is accompanied by curiosity, like, “What is going to happen next?”

I will definitely keep writing poems. I do that almost as often as breathing. My hope is to keep being a good friend and to love people. I try to make the world a better place because it is hard enough as it is.

And there you have it.

The Places We Have Passed

For FOWC: Spot and MVB: Road. I am also linking to the Friday Writings (on a Sunday). The prompt is optional, yet this happens to relate tangentially because of the pain of loss. This poem was written while thinking of those people who affected my life in a hugely positive way, yet who are no longer a large part of my life. It’s horribly painful when friends grow apart, even if there’s not a particular reason for it, other than lives diverging. Anyway, without further ado… Continue reading