This week’s sijo prompt is Balance, and that word triggers me so much because I have cerebral palsy and a kind of messed-up life, so it’s like physically I get off balance and mentally everything’s off balance. It has been like this for a long time; actually I’ve gotten better over time, overall. Plus, I have only a mild case of cerebral palsy and am actually really lucky, yet it still feels like some sort of cosmic joke. It’s sort of surprising how pissed off I am by this prompt (no offense to the prompter — I love writing sijos!). Anyway, here’s my attempt for this week.
She loved her pink tutu and ballet shoes, dancing to music,
Freely flowing, feeling the melodies even at that young age,
Before the time she realized: she could not be a ballerina.
I tried not to write something autobiographical, but look what came out. Also, it turns out that this is only related obliquely, but I’ll be sharing and linking it anyway. Voilà.
I wrote a letter that I'll never send,
I wrote some music that I'll never play:
Some souvenirs from when the world upend
-Ed; here I am still wishing you would stay.
These words and music, writing -- how I pray
To exorcize the ghosts that cause me grief,
A loss expected, unexpected thief.
Having been too busy yesterday to write much or to post anything, I want to write a lot today and maybe even post multiple times (this is your warning!). This poem was partially inspired by Brian’s prompt about “fleeting beauty” from last week. Also, it’s been hard because I’ve been eating a lot this week and ate a ton yesterday at my cousin’s wedding (how can you resist CAKE???). I hate to admit it, but the eating-disorder “voice” never really goes away…
One thing that I notice when I do eat more is, at Sunday Mass, I actually sing better, and my voice is stronger. 🙂 That makes me happy.
At least I could sing strongly. There’s a certain zest for life That’s missing when you won’t eat Wedding cake, or what Your body really needs.
There’s a certain beauty That doesn’t fade.
“At least” I could sing strongly? That’s everything.
I have an older poem, even though it’s not Flashback Friday. Today, I was listening to this song, linked by Andrea, and it brought back memories. I’d never heard that guy singing it, but I like the song, and I remembered that I had written a poem about the song on 12/23/2021. So I thought it would be appropriate to share it; thankfully, it was not in one of the poetry notebooks that I gave to my friends, as I wasn’t sure.
“Revisiting ‘River'” (12/23/2021)
Here I am, listening again
"I wish I had a river, I could skate away on" --
Not so sad as I was in the past, but
"I wish I had a river, I could skate away on."
That feeling is only momentarily gone
Not sure if it will last 'til Christmas dawn,
Not sure when it comes or goes, or why --
"I'd teach my feet to fly;"
On that river I can skate away on --
Notes of music flowing on and on.
Just had to share this one I just wrote… Many thanks to grapeling, who included a video of a piece of music that led me to have space to write this poem (follow the link 🙂 )
And now you’ve been dead for as long as you were alive. “Were alive” – that past tense, as if anyone ever truly stops Living – I can’t imagine why I still think of you after all this Time, when we were never Close.
A friend of a friend, yet your memory is not ended. “Not ended” – like my life; I think of you when I’d wish to quit Living – it just goes to show, you never know how many People’s lives you Touch.
Despite having about a dozen poem ideas today (more if I really tried), I have barely been able to write so far today, and at this point I may not be energized enough to write even half of those poems! Nevertheless, this being the month of April, the poetry calls. 🙂
Today’s prompt on the NaPoWriMo site is to use an obscure word from this Twitter account. I never use Twitter, but this shows me that it could be good for some things after all. There were so many cool words that I got overwhelmed, but I love the word GLACITATE — to honk like a goose. I could not find “to quack like a duck.” Continue reading →
Found while looking for a different poem in my Depression folder. I decided to post an old poem because I did not get any particular inspiration from prompts today (at least not yet, but maybe in the next 4 hours). The good news is: I am not currently beside myself. 🙂
I am beside myself.
Wish I’d died
Or the crisis before this,
How many rhymes
Until I exorcise
The voice inside
Which writes my epitaph
And the end of this story?