It’s Tuesday evening, and regular readers of my blog will know that that (usually) means a sijo! This week’s theme is “reliable.”
Even the most expensive car, has wheels which will quit turning.
Even the most faithful friend, in imperfection will let you down.
Only God the Ground of all being, is unchangeable.
Kriti at the blog “Life is Beauty” asks us this question: “Life is a story. What does yours say?”
I can’t tell you what my life says so far… but what I want it to say, what I hope it will say, is that a person can triumph over his or her difficulties and suffering and, to quote the great Fulton Sheen, “Life is worth living.” In order to convey such a message with my life, I first need to believe it myself. I am not shy in admitting that my medication helps me to see that life is worth living and to find hope in every day. It seems like a miracle to me, after having been literally suicidal for so long, and now I want to get a better job and drive, and I believe that there is a possibility that I can actually flourish, not only survive but thrive.
Of course, this post would be incomplete without pointing to my Savior Jesus Christ, to whom I give credit for the lifesaving miracle of modern medicine and the deep love of my friends. However, I hope to inspire people of all faiths because no one is excluded from this hope. Depression kills, but it doesn’t have to.
writing down each day
reasons now to stay alive
a lengthening list
Today is the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and is also considered World Day of the Sick because the waters at Lourdes are thought to have healing properties. In 1858, the Virgin Mary appeared there to a girl named St. Bernadette, and she desired that a chapel be built there. Due to the apparitions, the spring at Lourdes appeared, and countless people claim that, by visiting Lourdes, they have been healed of their ailments. If you want to know more, click here. 🙂 Anyway, I wrote a sijo to honor this day and Our Lady.
Once thought to be a poor place, now a source of miracles,
Led to the healing waters, where many have been restored,
Lasting remembrance belongs to Lourdes, Heaven’s Lady, and her Lord.
The prompt word for today’s SoCS is “perfection.” Perfection is illusive and elusive; I think it is hardly possible for a human to achieve true perfection. For example, an eating disorder manifests by fixating on one’s body and trying to make it “perfect.” Perfect doesn’t exist, and even if one were to achieve it, the difficulty is in keeping it.
I write about that because, I am embarrassed to admit, I had a lot of difficulty with eating-disordered thoughts and behaviors this morning. I could hardly get my mind off of it, and it was so prevalent in my thoughts that I started to cry. Thankfully, the worst of it has stopped, and I did not cancel going out to lunch with a friend. I think that companionship was what I needed, to not be alone, even if the activity involved food.
I was able to write this Chaucerian stanza earlier today, even in the midst of that horrific time being ridiculously triggered.
I will proclaim what God has done for me:
He has bestowed on me a sense of worth,
That He made me on purpose, beautifully.
Even in suffering, there is some mirth,
Knowing that it gives aid to friends on Earth.
God’s made this life worth living even now,
He helps me trust through all that He allows.
There’s no excuse not to write something for the last day of Just-Jot-It January. 🙂
God with us,
Both human and divine,
Remaining until the end of time
God with us,
Emmanuel by name,
"I AM," always merciful, the same
Thanksgiving for the gift,
Source and summit healing every rift
Playing hide-and-seek with God:
If I cannot find
Him each moment of the day,
He is not unkind.
Have I sought with my whole heart?
He will soon reveal
Loving presence, Spirit’s gift,
Come to me, and heal.
Today’s prompt for JusJoJan is “family.” Family can be a tricky concept because my friends and church people feel more like a family than my actual family does, much of the time. For example, on Christmas, I was most looking forward to going to Mass and seeing my “church family,” rather than the family that I am blood-related to. I am glad to have found such a loving group of people who have accepted me and love me for who I am, since I sought that for a long time.
The prompt from DVerse MTB is to use the first lines from the first poem of each month of 2022 to create a found poem. Yesterday I gathered all of those poems, 12 in all, so here I am trying to create a new piece from all of these, with no additions “other than tense, preposition or conjunction.” It’s going to be….interesting. 🙂 Linked with JusJoJan: Reversal because time is going backwards today.
Six years ago,
The devil absconded
With my ability to hope
For good —
Blood, very life, for
12 years —
May the scent of roses guide
Through these darkened paths,
Resolve to try hard every day,
And ask for help when I cannot,
Resolve with peace of soul to pray
As a child has rest
Trusting in its parents' love
And in provision --
As little children cannot wait,
For their sweet and icy treat,
So God does not despise
A humble and contrite heart.
I will sing
With a certain
Big pebbles, tall plants
Flowers a long way away,
Viewed from the hard earth,
A vase of red tulips
Left on steps
For so many honors, accolades, and wealth people strive on Earth:
Holding your hand —
I miss how strong it felt.
Today I decided to share a short and sweet Chaucerian stanza that I wrote the other day.
Through sun and rain, it is a shining day
Because of all the jewels unearthed therein,
Smell petrichor, and see the rainbow ray
Even when some colors remain hidden.
Joy is not binary, all loss or win.
Give thanks to God the Father through the Son,
Perhaps not for all things, but through each one.
I have seldom felt
Mind fluttering from one
Thought to the next
More often I am
This isn't funny but
It's not so
I don't have
To beg God
Not sure if I should share this one, but it fulfilled 2 prompts, FOWC: Beg and MLMM’s Opposing Forces. Maybe it’s not very good, but writing it did help me focus on something and feel a little better.
I’m not entirely pleased with how this turned out but will share it for SoCS anyway. 🙂
There are always
Tiny little gems
Which shine throughout the day,
Despite lingering darkness.
To be thankful for in the end,
Reminders of God’s enduring love.
I have depression but can have many happy days anyway. I can have a really hard day but can call it a good day anyway (I don’t really believe in bad days, only hard days).