It’s Flashback Friday! It also happens to be the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in the Catholic Church. 🙂 Usually this date, June 24th, celebrates the birth of St. John the Baptist, so that’s what this poem, written exactly 3 years ago, is about. It’s in a form called a Rhyming Wave and is kind of funny. 🙂
Saint John the Baptist was a quirky man,
A quirky, quirky, quirky man,
He acted strongly in God’s plan,
He acted zealously.
He said, “Greater comes after me,
Comes after, after, after me,”
He dined on locusts with honey,
He dined in wilderness.
John the Baptist was a quirky man,
He dined in wilderness.
I, blind to the future, must walk forward,
Hoping for Heaven, which I'm limping toward.
Imagination paints predictions vividly,
Dread digs up a dozen ways to scare me.
What's coming in life are paths unknown,
Only little by little is any light shown.
Yet when the future day comes into my sight,
Even a crooked way may straighten to delight.
I wonder if there's truly much to fear,
Even if I don't see my Guide here.
This poem was inspired by the Bible verse Isaiah 42:16 (KJV).
And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.
So, I wrote a décima today. It’s been a while since I’ve shared one because Ronovan Writes has a Sijo challenge now, but here you go. It started out positive. I wrote the second and third lines first, inspired by a Bible verse (link goes to a different translation from the one I used but close enough 🙂 ). However, then I had An Afternoon.
I tried, people, I tried. -_-
There’s a crown of worth unfading:
For this I struggle and press on,
With Christ in me to make me strong
Into unknown waters wading.
Here come attacks aggravating
Already-strong onslaughts, keeping
Me laughably close to weeping,
No matter prayers and platitudes.
All of the strength that I’d accrued
Was used earlier – I’m sleeping.
Bonus! Here’s a shadorma I wrote this morning about trusting God, despite how hard it is. In the morning it felt possible. However, then I had An Afternoon.
is obscurity —
is not dark
for Someone. take a deep breath,
this must be trusted
So, when I first typed this up, I added an asterisk at the end: *even if you are pissed at Him
I hope this isn’t like the video game Portal, where “the cake is a lie.” I feel like all the metaphorical cake in this world is not worth going through this over. and. over. again.
Yesterday, in the livestreamed rosary group that I’m still a part of (I have written about it before at some point), I wrote about some of my difficulty with depression / wanting to die, etc. and somebody told me to “seek the Lord.” Thankfully I stopped myself from actually typing back, “What a GREAT idea!! Wish I’d thought of that!” What do you think I’ve been doing? I mean, we had just gotten done with the rosary! AAAAARGH F***!
Thank you for reading my versified tantrum. I am assuming that you are reading. 🙂
Today’s word for FOWC is “death.” I told myself, “Don’t go there, Jenna, especially since you’ve already posted today,” but here I am anyway, because it’s in my head already; I’m not going there if I already am there!
The poem is one I wrote yesterday. It was basically a stream-of-consciousness, but I think it turned out well, and it’s not even that sad. It’s not hopeless. But it’s so true: This is horrible of me to say, but I am incredibly jealous of those saints who got to die when they were, like, 23 (like St. Thérèse). In the last few years, I have sort of been aware: “Oh, I’ve lived longer than she did now. Oh, I outlived him now.”
The worst part is, sometimes I don’t even necessarily want to go to Heaven. What I mean is, sometimes it would be preferable to me if we just ceased to exist after we die. That’s what I used to think, but now, for better or for worse, I know that annihilation is not an option. If there are only 2 options, I’d rather go to the good place. 🙂
Hey, if I die at thirty-three
Like St. Faustina, that wouldn’t be
Too long to wait, would it, anymore?[*]
I have been so impatient. What’s in store
Is too scary for me, but what has been
The past 3 years is not entirely
Pain. Far from it. Tomorrow (Lord willing)
I’ll gain merit from persevering
Through grace, and that joy will serve
To erase all pain. Refrain
From worrying. One day will cease that sting.
[*] It would still be a few years. After lasting this long, though, who knows? Sometimes I wake up and am just flabbergasted that I survived all this shtuff.
Today I’m participating in E. M.’s Sunday Ramble. It’s a nice topic and also fits well with other prompted words. 🙂 This week’s topic is “Childhood Memories.”
What is your first good memory from your childhood?(If this is a trigger question for you, tell me how your day is and what the best thing is about today.)
Probably on my 7th birthday, when I received a Gameboy from my grandma. 😆 It was purple — my favorite color at the time — and she also bought Pokémon Blue version. My twin brother received a green Gameboy and Pokémon Red version from her.
Name 3 things that you loved when you were just a youngster?
Play-Doh! Stickers! I also had a blast playing with makeup, especially with my friends, which is hilarious because I don’t wear any makeup now.
What did you dislike, or even hate, when you were growing up?
Hmm… I hated (and still hate) drinking milk and eating melted cheese. I loved pizza but would take all the cheese off. 🤣 I still don’t like when something has a lot of cheese, but I eat pizza like a normal person now.
If you could go give your younger self one piece of advice, what would you tell them?
I would blast my younger self with the message, “Your personality is different, not wrong.” I’m an INFJ, so I have always been very “sensitive” and intuitive. Growing up, many aspects of my personality were looked down upon in my family. I still have a bunch of baggage, NGL, but now I actually like how I am and don’t really want to be that different (as long as I stay sane haha).
What kind of celebrations did you enjoy when you were little, and do you still like those celebrations now that you are grown?
I liked Christmas and my birthday a lot growing up (what kid doesn’t?). I still like Christmas, but it’s awkward now because I’m a Catholic, and the rest of my family aren’t even Christian in any meaningful way. My brothers are atheists, and I lived with my parents for 20 years before I found out that they considered themselves Christian, so there you go.
As for my birthday, I no longer like it. In fact, I have had a crisis around my birthday for the past few years, and this year is no exception. 😭 It’s coming… *cue Jaws theme music*
Bonus Question: What commercial did you always wait for to come on television as a child? (If you didn’t like commercials or television, what event did you wait for to come about when you were a kid?“
I don’t remember liking any commercials. However, my brothers and I watched a ton of them because our family didn’t have a TiVo or anything yet. I remember wanting SO MANY toys, thanks to these commercials! I’m glad that my parents did not give in to most of my whining. 🙂
The writing part of my brain (which is most of my brain, at this point), has been active today, so I’ve got this reverse etheree to share. I might even post twice today — working on a poem that requires a bit of research! 😀
Rejoice and be glad
To know this endless day,
Leaving no place for shadows.
Upward movement: dead live again,
Corruptibility having been
Restored to everlasting radiance.
For Fandango’s Flashback Friday, I am continuing to explore my poems from May 2019. I finally decided to share this one, from May 13th of that year. Not too dark. Enjoy. 🙂
The only way to not survive the fight Is to give up; the spirit can’t be killed But only ceded, so keep hope in sight: It is not God who has destruction willed, But satan lies in wait. Though he is skilled Remember not to forfeit; watch and pray, And God will give you victory today.