Written for Jilly’s November collaboration as a continuation of Charley’s “Paean to My Love” . His words are in green, and mine are in blue.
“She walks in beauty like the night”
She’s won my heart not just by sight!
She’s won my heart it’s hers to keep.
She fills my heart awake, asleep!
She dances o’er a midnight stage,
Stars gather ’round this brilliant sage
Unparalleled in comeliness,
Whose calm mystique guides me no less.
revivedwriter 
So beautiful! You’ve kept Charley’s voice and also infused it with your distinctive style. Bravo!
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Very nice! You kept the tone and the voice especially well. “Unparalleled in comeliness, / Whose calm mystique guides me no less” are lines worthy of Lord Byron himself! Great job!
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Thank you so much!
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You are welcome!
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“Calm mystique” is a perfect description of the moon but my favorite has to be the image of her dancing across a midnight stage. Great job!
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Excellent work going on here! The whole thing – can’t pick a line that stands out. Seamless completion.
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