Dear 2021….

Inspired by the current prompt for the Friday Writings, even though I can’t link up because I already linked up something different yesterday. Warning: I am very honest in this post, so it might be depressing and/or distressing. I liked these pictures, found on the original post:

Let Us Hope found on 12_20

Dear 2021,

At the end of each year, I usually like to do a sort of retrospective and reflect on the past year: “What happened? How did I grow? What goals did I accomplish?” This is the extent to which that is going to happen.

What did happen this year? I’ve been unemployed since the start of the pandemic (was it only last year that things were normal?). I’ve tried to find a job, yet mental health and lack of motivation has hindered doing very much. I also don’t want to have to wear a face mask, and maybe people would tell me, “Just suck it up and do it,” but I just can’t right now.

So, “what did happen this year?” I certainly wrote a lot, and I prayed approximately a thousand rosaries. πŸ™‚ That’s the redeeming aspect of this whole mess: the prayer groups that I’ve discovered, that I believe God led me to. Without them, I would feel more lonely, more alone, more useless — overall, even more crazy!

Another great thing is that, in October of this year, I got to attend a Latin Mass! The only other time I’ve been able to do that is nearly 5 years ago, and I was so happy to rediscover how beautiful and sacred and holy that was/is. Now, let’s hope and pray that our pope doesn’t try to quash it any more than he already has….

I suppose one thing I can be proud of is that this year, I survived 2 suicide attempts, in July and in September. Please, someone give my Guardian Angel a promotion.

In my usual year-end reflections, I also ask myself what I am looking forward to in the coming year. The image that is above exemplifies that, at least the best-case scenario. Not sure what I’m looking forward to, to be honest. The positive is that the prospect of the year 2022 doesn’t completely fill me with dread. The apprehensiveness is accompanied by curiosity, like, “What is going to happen next?”

I will definitely keep writing poems. I do that almost as often as breathing. My hope is to keep being a good friend and to love people. I try to make the world a better place because it is hard enough as it is.

And there you have it.

7 thoughts on “Dear 2021….

  1. Oh Jenna. Thankyou for your honesty. I understand about the Suicide attempts. Me too. But we don’t often tell people that do we. And the Latin Mas. Oh it is the most beautiful thing in the world. We used to have them near us, but we don’t now.

    Praying for you Jenna. Hugs.

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  2. Sending you love and light as you move forward. Take it step by step, Jenna. Poetry is a lovely, creative way to live, I know because I write it every day. Please be gentle and kind with yourself. You do enough, you are enough, blessed be.
    β€πŸ™‚β€πŸŒ²β€β˜ƒβ€β„β€πŸ‚

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  3. Our Lady promised someday she will save the world through the rosary and scapular I am so happy she saved you because of your rosaries. I only attend the Latin Mass, I wish I knew where you live since I have a directory of where the Latin Mass IS OFFERED
    I like the idea of writing an open letter as you did, sort of an examination of conscience. I might try that except at my age my life is sort of boring, and BTW I never wear a mask, never did, except when I go to the doctor, there, they greet us with one in hand. No one ever asks me otherwise to put one on.

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